The Great Clan [Quiting...I'm so sorry]

Animal_Lover · Golden Retriever

The Great Clan: enter the canine world [CHAPTER 6 & 7 UP!]

DogMaster4 · Golden Retriever

The Great Clan: enter the canine world [CHAPTER 8 UP!] Anyone wanna post?

Animal_Lover · Golden Retriever

DogMaster4 wrote:

You are an awesome writer, AL!

But, one thing; when someone talks, its better to follow when you do this:

Shengu just laghed and said,
"I know that you were going to say lovely... and pups...I don't mind..." then she smiled. "You...Don't?"
"I want to tell you something, Domain."
"Me too."
Shengu said shyly: "I love you too, Domain."

Instead of this:
Shengu just laghed and said "I know that you were going to say lovely... and pups...I don't mind..." then she smiled. "You...Don't?" "I want to tell you something, Domain." "Me too." Shengu said shyly: "I love you too, Domain."

What I say is, make spaces between talkers, so people know who's talking. :)

-- Edited by DogMaster4 at 17:52, 2008-01-10

Thanks! ^-^ :3

So are you saying like this:

HI

(press enter/space)

BYE

?
I'm trying to make it like it would be in a book...I could say: "HI" AL said "BYE" Replied DM4...Which I do all the time.xD

DogMaster4 · Golden Retriever

But for starters I suggest the first one, because in my English books, there's a part that teaches you literature and stuff, and it says it like that... spaces between talkers. :)

Animal_Lover · Golden Retriever

But I'm trying to make it as if it were in a book (since I plan on making it a book lolz)

OtakuKat · Shetland Sheepdog

Yayz I'll check 'em out! /\^_^/\

OtakuKat · Shetland Sheepdog

I read the last 3 chapters last night. They seemed very...inappropriate. Can you please not include so many details about Shengu giving birth next time? XD Angel...can you make his " madness" be from something...else?

DogMaster4 · Golden Retriever

They're fine, when you give birth it will be somewhat like that. :P

It's supposed to be descriptive so I give those 10/10. :)

Animal_Lover · Golden Retriever

OtakuKat wrote:

I read the last 3 chapters last night. They seemed very...inappropriate. Can you please not include so many details about Shengu giving birth next time? XD Angel...can you make his " madness" be from something...else?

Meh. :| Thanks for reading. Well, the birth thing...It was supposed to be detailed, because it has more importance, being her first litter being born. It's hard to understand...

Angel thing, has a reason to it. I'm thinking of changing it though.

Animal_Lover · Golden Retriever

DogMaster4 wrote:

They're fine, when you give birth it will be somewhat like that. :P

It's supposed to be descriptive so I give those 10/10. :)

Thanks! ^-^

I might post Chapter 9 up today.