(I'm COMPLETELY serious)
Well, yknow my hatred for ice cream men, right?

I heard him coming down the street, I was sitting next to the window so I looked, and amazingly, he PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE. I'm completely serious, that bastard was challenging me. So I stared at him. He stared back at me... Then he started eating an ice cream while staring at me!
I stared back at him and made scary faces... It used to work... But he wouldn't back off. He kept suckin on his ice cream. Why MY house? Why? Because I always stare and make a throat-slitting sound at him? Yeah. That must be why. This man wants war.

100% serious for once.