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The New Nintendo Kennel Club -> Off-Topic Board -> OMG
Post Info TOPIC: OMG
NOA_Andy


Shibu Inu

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Posts: 5444
Date:
OMG
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: Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.




Only in America ......do people order
double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.




Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.




Only in America ......do we leave cars
worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.




Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of te n and buns in packages of eight.




Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.




Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.





EVER WONDER ....


Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?


Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?


Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?



Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?



Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?



Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?



Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?



Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when
they are all stuck together?




If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


If flying is so safe,
why do they call the airport the terminal?


 Can you cry under water?






How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?






Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?






Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?






Why does a round pizza come in a square box?






What disease did cured ham actually have?






How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?






Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?






If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?







Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?






Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?






Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.








Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?






Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?






If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?






Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?






If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?






Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!






If Wile E.

Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?






If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?






If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?






Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?






Why did you just try singing the two songs above?






Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?





Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

randomnesss


-- Edited by PuppyCat614 at 00:12, 2008-12-17

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what's your favorite idea? mine is being creative
IWN


Siberian Husky

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...lmao.
i read them all..because i'm pathetic like that. and everytime i read it i was like "..that's true....and it makes a lot of sense!!!"
:D XD

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wanna lickle my nipplez 
NOA_Andy


Shibu Inu

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Posts: 5444
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You aren't alone..XD

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what's your favorite idea? mine is being creative
Lock


German Short-Hair Pointer

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Posts: 628
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PuppyCat614 wrote:


Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

What's the problem here? Is it suddenly better if we close our doors so no one can do business...?

Only in America ......do we leave cars
worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

By that logic, our houses are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. WHY DO WE LEAVE THESE OUTSIDE?

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of te n and buns in packages of eight.

Never heard of this.


Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

'tics'=/='ticks'


http://kidshealth.org/teen/diseases_conditions/brain_nervous/tics.html





Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Because everyone tries to rush home?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Well, the boxes can cost fifteen grand...

http://www.aerospaceweb.org/question/investigations/q0302.shtml

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

Because the individual areas of living are apart from each other. That's what walls do. They separate.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Probably easier to manufacture.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

I thought one of the main points was to get a different perspective on life down below.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

No show=/=no money.


-- Edited by PuppyCat614 at 00:12, 2008-12-17



 



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LOL POOPSICLE

POOPSICLE I SAY
Lock


German Short-Hair Pointer

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Posts: 628
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Lock wrote: Wow this thing totally butchered my replies. Whatever, you people are smart enough to figure out when I'm talking D:

 

PuppyCat614 wrote:


Only in America ......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

What's the problem here? Is it suddenly better if we close our doors so no one can do business...?

Only in America ......do we leave cars
worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

By that logic, our houses are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. WHY DO WE LEAVE THESE OUTSIDE?

Only in America ......do we buy hot dogs in packages of te n and buns in packages of eight.

Never heard of this.


Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

'tics'=/='ticks'


http://kidshealth.org/teen/diseases_conditions/brain_nervous/tics.html





Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Because everyone tries to rush home?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Well, the boxes can cost fifteen grand...

http://www.aerospaceweb.org/question/investigations/q0302.shtml

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

Because the individual areas of living are apart from each other. That's what walls do. They separate.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Probably easier to manufacture.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

I thought one of the main points was to get a different perspective on life down below.

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

No show=/=no money.


-- Edited by PuppyCat614 at 00:12, 2008-12-17



 

 



 



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LOL POOPSICLE

POOPSICLE I SAY
CollarGirl


OMGJONASSISTERS

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"If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?"
lmao!

I don't leave my mouth open when I put on mascara... but maybe that's just me.

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It's June 2019. I came back to delete my signature of Ryan Ross doing cocaine (not that I am the one who put it there).

Rebecca is still alive.
NOA_Andy


Shibu Inu

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Posts: 5444
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Good commentary lock....

haha i know. who cares about corn. and can you even really crack a corn kernal?

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what's your favorite idea? mine is being creative
Pelord


eh

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Posts: 2298
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PuppyCat614 wrote:

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
:)
THATS
WHAT
SHE
SAID

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that old sig was big as fuck so i just removed it you're welcome
Nintendogsgal54


Flyer-Fan Admin

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Posts: 7959
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I've read this before, its funny. But lock, you win.

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GO FLYERS GO!
NOA_Andy


Shibu Inu

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Posts: 5444
Date:
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yeah lock does win...xD

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