My NiNtEnDoGs BlOg!1!1!1 Oliver the Poodle!!

Pelord · eh

My NiNtEnDoGs BlOg!1!1!1 Oliver the Poodle!!

Animal_Lover · Golden Retriever

LOL That dog needs some training

Pelord · eh

tell me about it

day 2

I got out of the hospital in the morning and drove home. on the way home i stopped at mcdonalds. i had a weird feeling like "i should eat mcdonalds RIGHT NOW", so I stopped at mcdonalds and got a cheeseburger and some chicken nuggets with extra barbecue sauce. I parked my car in the parking lot for cars so I wouldnt be in the way of other cars and began eating my chicken nuggets. I had about 12 in this box, and they all tasted the same. They were really juicy and very chickeny, i dont know how they do it. Then I ate my burger, it was really really good. it was one of those tripple ones, because just one burger isnt enough. they put a lot of cheese on it, but oh whats that? a tomato. I dont want tomatoes. so I drove back and returned my burger and asked for another one.

I got my new one, but heres the deel. i dont mind tomatoes. you see, when you get a burger, you get free fries. I just kept the fries from the first burger in my car, and I got another burger, which came with more fries. Suckers!

So anyways i went home, and i pulled out my key. Turns out I forgot to put my house key on my key-ring when i bought my house. so i had to use the backup key. I hid it under the doormat. Didnt think anyone would look there. so I entered my house and oliver was right there lookin at me wagging his tail and he started barkin and stuff, then he sniffed me and he got this :( on his face when he saw the stitches.

So I disciplined oliver and told him hes a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad boy, a very naughty boy, and i put him outside and locked him out there.
Later I went to bed. He still seemed happy outside. That aint cool. Hes sposed to be disciplined. so I just left him out there. I woke up in the middle of the night and i was thirsty so I went to get a glass of water. Then i felt kind of hungry so I looked in the fridge. We didnt have anything except salami. so I took out the salami and ate it. I dont like salami too much honestly. It just tastes kinda salty, yet not salty, yknow? its hard to describe, its just like a tangy taste and its all weird and stuff. each piece tasted the same.

but I got tired of that, so I took out the big guns. I put salami on ritz crackers and ate it that way. then I got bored of that so I stuck some cheese on there too, and that was pretty good. Thing is though, the cheese kind of washed out the taste of the salami. So it was pointless to put the salami there, because i couldnt even taste it. that would be wasteful. So I put the salami back into the fridge, the cheese too. I wrapped up the ritz package and put it away, and decided to go to bed. Oh but I forgot about Oliver. I looked at him. I said "How you doin, alliver?".

His eyes got all red, and he just stared at me. Then he started moving towards me. But he wasnt walking. In fact his paws/legs weren't moving at all. He was just like sliding towards me. But then he hit the glass door. I figured "ha ha ha cant get me now!" but oh was i wrong. He just melted through the glass, kinda like that liquid metal stuff in Terminator 2. It was pretty cool. But then he came after me and I got so scared, so I ran away. I slept over at my mom's house. She doesnt care really, I didnt even have to ask. I just walked in and slept in the basement. She doesnt even notice. Shes weird like that. I checked what was in their fridge. There was just some chicken, some cheese AND OMG OLIVER HE WAS RIGHT IN THE FRIDGE HE LUNGED OUT AT ME. He ripped me open and ripped out my liver again. ughhhhh. -.- so i just drove back to the hospital and slept there for awhile while they stitched me up again. gosh i hate this dog.

day 3 later. kinda livin it right now.

Animal_Lover · Golden Retriever

You need to give that dog to someone you hate at night :)

Ok well not rly XD
Maybe just feed him liver. Liek the kind you buy.
Some dog foods have liver in em :B

Pelord · eh

Sorry for no updates guys!! Some REALLY bad stuff happened.......and I had to be hospitalized for a few days. This dog is nuts!!!

Day 3

OK so i got home from the hospital. Same old stuff. Oliver was all like HI PELORD and i just kicked him, i dont really care. He got all mopey.
Thats when I realized hes only crazy at night. jinkies what a mystery. so i said im sorry and i pet him and gave him a hug hes such a cute doggy. he licked me so i guess that means he forgives me. It wasnt even a hard kick anyways in fact i didnt even kick him i just kicked the wall lol gotcha i cant believe you actually thought i kicked my dog

It was lunchtime. There wasnt anything in the fridge. I was starving.

I glanced at Oliver.........

He wagged his tail at me.
My stomach rumbled.

I grabbed him and picked him up and put him on the table. My stomach rumbled again as we stared at each other.

I picked up my knife.

I began to clean it, while continuing to stare at Oliver. He looked so yummy.... just sitting there in the sunlight. The heat from the sun began to emit a smell from him.... It smelled quite tasty.

"It's time, Oliver..." I said to him. He looked at me and tilted his head.

".... for the sacrifice."

I stood up, and walked into the kitchen. I took Oliver with me. It was definitely time....

.... for my chicken. I was waiting for it to defrost.
I turned on the grill and began to cook my chicken. Oliver kept whining. I gave him a bite. He's a good boy.

So anyway i ate my chicken and by then it was starting to get dark. I looked at Oliver. his eyes were getting kind of red. I figured i should chain him up or something, because seriously i cant keep going to the hospital all the time.

so I chained him up in the backyard. I also strapped some dynamite to him and i took the remote detonator, just in case he does something i dont like later. you can never be too careful with this dog. he walks through doors.

I also rigged up an AK-47 motion detector in my room. If he sets it off he gets shot, see. :D

so i went to bed feeling safe this time.

at 12 AM i woke up to the sound of dogs howling

the sound got closer

then i was like "aw shewt oliver's got friends"
yep and they were all coming for me. I got up and put my pants back on and grabbed my gun. i ran in my backyard. there were like 20 olivers back there, and they all had glowing red eyes, and they were all coming for me. I went rambo on them. the bullets went straight through but they didnt die. it was crazy.

so I ran away from them. But this one dog was catching up and he was REALLY TICKED OFF. I tripped. he grabbed my ankle and ripped off my WHOLE FREAKING FOOT. SERIOUSLY. GOD. IT HURT. the bomb shelter was right in front of me. yeah my house has a bomb shelter, it's THAT COOL. I bet you wish you had a house with a bomb shelter. You could talk to your friends and be all like "hey guys im gonna go down into the bomb shelter, theres a bomb about to go off in the city and jack bauer's on vacation over in china." and they'll be all "Dude you have a bomb shelter?!" and you'll be like "Yep. heh im so freaking COOL."

but you don't have a bomb shelter like I do, so you CAN'T. i can though. and i DO.

so anyways his buddy caught up and he ripped off my other foot, and I was all like AHHHHHHHHH. then i crawled into the bomb shelter and slammed the door in their faces.

I had some wooden pegs down there, so I put them on. I always knew that someday I would buy a zombie dog and I would chain him up with dynamite and AK47 turrets and that he would call in 20 zombie dog friends to rip my feet off, so I kept a bunch of em down here.
but then I remembered, they can walk through walls! I was like oh man. If I open the door they all come after me. so....

I built STILTS. YEP. I glued all those pegs together and sharpened the ends of em and opened the door. they were like AHHH GET HIM then they were like WAIT WAIT WAIT BACK OFF BACK OFF HE HAS SPIKE-STILTS. I stepped right on them. stupid dogs. dont worry tho that didnt kill em, remember, they're ghost dogs. they cant die.
but then i tripped again! i fell off. as you can guess, they were all pretty mad at me by now. i had to run. with a wooden foot. it hurt

i slammed the glass door in their faces as I left, i figured it would slow em down a bit. then i jumped away and set off the remote detonator. I figured oliver was right in the middle of them and still had that dynamite, so they would all die.

well, they did.
but then my house blew up.
turns out one of those stupid dogs knew about stuff, so he turned on the gas in my house. blew everything up. like, how does that even work? gas is invisible. it shouldnt blow anything up. it makes you dizzy though. in fact I'm getting a little dizzy just typing about it. Stupid dogs

so yeah it blew up my whole freakin house. i was so mad. I mean on one hand my dog is dead, which is like the best news all week, but then on the other hand my house blew up dude. im like, half mad and half happy. i hate that!

soooooooooo i went to the hospital. basically been there these past several days, thats why i didnt update my nintendogs blog. cuz i didnt have a house. every time they fixed me up I just hurt myself again so i could stay longer. dude they give you cheerios in the hospital, did you know that? yeah like little cheerio boxes. they're small boxes, but dude, they're cheerios. I like cheerios. beats that other stuff they serve there. did you know that when patients die, they extract all of their blood, and just thicken it up, and they use it as ketchup? no joke. if you're there, don't order a hamburger. oh yeah, the meat there is just dead people. don't eat that. in fact, don't eat anything there besides the cheerios. I had to ration it VERY CAREFULLY. Seriously. it sucked. I ate like 5 cheerios a day. no milk either. yknow why? because the milk there... it's not milk. it's mountain dew.

and no i dont mean mountain dew as in the soda. i mean like real mountain dew. they go out there in the morning and extract the dew from the grass THAT HORSES HAVE PEED ALL OVER, RECENTLY EVEN, and they put it on a bottle and give it to people in the hospital. it tasted like pee. it probably was pee.

okay some guy here at the hospital was reading what i was typing and he just told me that it IS horse pee mixed with dew. oh man. apparently they filter it so its not dirty, but still.... it's horse pee mixed with dew, dude. they expect you to eat that with cheerios. i hate hospitals.

i might update later. this aint a nintendogs blog anymore. i hate nintendogs now. they're mean.

-- Edited by Pelord on Wednesday 10th of June 2009 04:07:31 AM

Animal_Lover · Golden Retriever

XDDDDDD LOL Psy! Mountain pee dew and dead body meat! XDDD I'm gonna fall outta my seat, that was a good one! XD'

DUDE
YOUR
A HOBO NOW.

But no worries.

You could go live in your bomb shelter
Or a hotel, or a hobo shelter.

Pelord · eh

DUDE. MY HOUSE BLEW UP. DO YOU THINK I CAN GO TO A HOTEL????

i cant sleep in the bomb shelter either. there was gas down there because i have a stove. it blew up. bomb shelters protect the OUTSIDE of the shelter but what happens when something blows up on the INSIDE?? i should get a refund for that

anyways this isnt a nintendogs blog anymore because i killed mine. its a whatever blog.

day 4

i finally got out of the hospital. I got in my car and drove home. oh but wait it blew up. yeah so I just slept in my car, with the windows down, hoping someone would feel sorry and adopt me or something.
they didnt. my neighbors are jerks. so i had a different plan.
if i get adopted, for reals, i can just kill the owner of the house, and then its mine!

so instead of waiting for my neighbors to feel sorry for me i just knocked on his door. if i ask him, he'll feel OBLIGATED to let me stay there! because he's too nice to say no!

so i asked my neighbor Jamie. he's this guy who wears a beret and likes to blow things up... he's kind of crazy but then again i like explosions. so does he. in fact that's why he didn't help me kill Oliver. Oliver knew he liked explosions so he tipped him off. jamie was sitting in a lawn chair watching my house explode.

anyway he adopted me because he was drunk at the time
but anyways, I need to kill him. He lives alone. If he dies, I get the house, because he adopted me. thats how things work here. so i need to kill him. but it cant look like i killed him.
so heres the thing. he has this big mostache. so big in fact that when he sleeps, it falls on his nose and stops him from breathing. so he shaves it every week. so when he was at work, i just broke all of his razors. THAT WAY HE CANT SHAVE IT. SO HE CAN'T BREATH AT NIGHT. SO HE DIES.

so heres the other thing.
he has a dog. he's a golden retriever and his name is adam. hes a friendly dog, he laughs a lot. but if you havent noticed, dogs have something against me. every night he gnaws at my leg. then when i wake up he just laughs at me

this had me thinking for a few days. i needed to kill the dog. but i dont wanna. but i have to. right now i give it like 50/50 chance i kill the dog.

so jamie was at work. he has nothing but pigs blood in the fridge... dont ask. i was really hungry. it was lunchtime. Adam was just sitting there.... staring back at me...

His beautiful golden coat glimmering in the sunlight. The heat from the sun releasing a smell from him... a smell like fried chicken.

It made my stomach rumble. I wanted to eat it..........

................. So I got up to eat it.
I walked up to Adam.

He looked up at me.

I grabbed a fork.

"Move." I said.
His ears perked up.
"MOVE." I said.
I decided to eat in the living room. It was too hot in the kitchen. The living room has air conditioning. The kitchen doesn't. So the kitchen is hotter than it is in the living room, because the kitchen doesn't have air conditioning like the living room does. I took Adam to the living room.

I sat down.
"Lay down" I told Adam. It was time to eat. I sunk my fork into its juicy insides, cut off a chunk, dipped it into some barbecue sauce, and chewed....

It was delicious fried chicken. Jamie made some before he left for work. I gave a bite to Adam. he's a good boy

So i made the decision after my lunch that it was time to put Adam down, if y'know what I mean. It was a painful decision, but he's in my way. It needs to be done.

I heard a noise...
I had to be quick and put Adam down while I still had the chance. I grabbed my gun. I looked around.

I grabbed Adam.

I put him down.

off of the couch. He was in my way. I wanted to watch Mythbusters. He got his hair all over the couch. dumb dog

jamie was home. phew. I thought it was a burglar so I grabbed my gun. good thing it was only him. i didnt have to put nobody down.

so i decided that if Adam doesnt freak out and try to kill me that I won't kill him. i dont think he means anything when he gnaws at my leg. why else would he laugh when he does it?

so i went to bed and listened through the wall into jamie's room. he went in to shave.
"aw man!" he said when he saw that his razors mysteriously disappeared. Adam laughed.
Jamie went to bed.

I snook into his room and watched. I like to watch things. About 10 minutes later he started inhaling his mostache. he died instantly.
yknow why?
I SPIKED THE WATER. HA. I put poison in all of the water. His mostache is so big that when he drinks water it gets all soaked and stuff. He inhaled the poison and DIED. I am a genious. were you really stupid enough to think that he would die if his nose got blocked by his mostache? he'll just breath through his mouth you're stupid

so I went to bed. in the morning I tried to act all shocked and stuff. I called the cops. the CSI and stuff got here. But what was i not counting on? that guy from CSI Miami was there. The blond dude who says something smart and then the intro starts, the one that goes YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

yeah
that guy
i am SCREWED.