god is a sick, twisted fellow, he is.

Me:
 hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
 sanjaya! :D
God:
  I am always glad to make new friends,  sanjaya.   I lost my train of thought.
Me:
 WUNT MI 2 SING 2 U????
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
 I SING LOLZ
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people:  sanjaya said   SING LOLZ.
Me:
 YES I DO MIND
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.  OK it will be our secret,  sanjaya.
Me:
 *sings*
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
 ARE YOU DEAD YET?
God:
No I am alive.
Me:
 d*mmit
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
 in question mark?
God:
What is  it like in there?
Me:
 where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
 like what?
God:
For example,  eukaryotes.
Me:
 ...THAT'S FUNNY
God:
I am so delighted that you are amused,  sanjaya.
Me:
 i'm not sanjaya, dude
God:
I am  surprised to hear that you are not  sanjaya dude.
Me:
 my name is not sanyaya
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
 aw i spelt his name wrong..
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before:  sanjaya said   spelt his name wrong.
Me:
 I'M NOT SANJAYA
God:
I am  glad to hear that you are not  SANJAYA.
Me:
 ...
God:
I am  glad to hear that you are not  SANJAYA.
Me:
 my name isn't sanjaya
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
 darius
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
 no
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
 sure
God:
OK let's do it.  Really.
Me:
 IT? YOU PERVERT!
God:
darius...   That's good information:  sanjaya said I PERVERT.
Me:
 YES YOU DO PERVERT
God:
Tell me more.  No I do not  PERVERT. Do you?
   I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
 yes you do
God:
Far out.  When do I do it?
Me:
 all the time. sicko.
God:
It must keep you busy.   Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
 keeps me busy? wha?
God:
I do not understand.    What's your favorite movie?
Me:
 the corpse bride
God:
I've never seen  it.  What did you like about it?
Me:
 you never seen it? -twitch-
God:
No I sometimes  seen it.   Are you free?
Me:
 ..........you make no sense, dude
God:
Actually I was just free associating. I'll try to make more sense now.
Me:
 alright
God:
OK.
Me:
 ok
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
 echoecho
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
 yep
God:
Uh.
Me:
 uhuh
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 UHHHHHH
God:
In the context of  echoecho, I don't understand " UHHHHHH." .
Me:
 UH UH UH
God:
I hear you.  Ahem.  Er.
Me:
 UH
God:
That's alright.
Me:
 a b c d e f g
God:
The alphabet.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
 WHOZ UR DADDEH?
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 stop asking that
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 good
God:
Next question?
Me:
 i have none
God:
Do you want some?
Me:
 yes
God:
So?
Me:
 so what?
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
 any difference to what?
God:
No I don't think there are any.
Me:
 ..what?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
 what's a big deal?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
 no
God:
Did I misunderstand your meaning?
Me:
 yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
 WHAT
God:
No big deal.
Me:
 sharpies
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
 COMPOOPER
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  sharpies.  Try being more or less specific.
Me:
 is alice your wife?
God:
I don't thank anyone can be her own  wife.
Me:
 are you a girl?
God:
My gender is  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
Me:
 yes i would
God:
Gee.  Under what circumstances?
Me:
 GIRLS>GUYS
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
 bite me
God:
Sorry but I don't have a mouth.
Me:
 ...
God:
Sorry but I don't have a mouth.
Me:
 alright...
God:
OK.
Me:
 OKAY
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
 okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
 oka
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
 stuff
God:
Be less specific .
Me:
 don't smile at me, you creep.
God:
Ok I'll try not to do  it too much.
Me:
 thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
 did you know dinosaurs were around only 4,000 years ago?!?!
God:
I don't know if I know  it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
 sarah palin said so
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
 hehehehe
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
 ...you do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
 all night with your boyfriend
God:
You mean about eight hours then.
Me:
 yes
God:
Yay.


told you he was bi.
*SINGZ*

LMAO SAM YOU'RE AMAZING

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YES

Me:
nyah
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
.....
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
-twitch-
God:
What kind of fashion do you like?
Me:
-twitchtwitch-
God:
Where can you buy it?
Me:
CANADA!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Canada.
Me:
i don't live in canada ;-;
God:
Where do you live?
Me:
in hell
God:
Tell me a little about your life in hell.
Me:
it's hellful.
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yes it is.
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
they are two.
God:
two are they.
Me:
si.
God:
I understand.
Me:
good.
God:
I understand everything you say.
Me:
breathing
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
i win
God:
Congratulations, !
Me:
THX
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
i just di
God:
Thanks for the information: said di.
Me:
d
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
no, go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to d, I think.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
here we go...
God:
Oh there.
Me:
where?
God:
Where would you like?
Me:
venus.
God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Me:
i don't want to download one.
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
breathing.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
69
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
69
God:
Do you think a lot of people have that experience?
Me:
69
God:
" Do you think a lot of people have that experience?"? 69?
Me:
69
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
joe the plumber
God:
I haven't read anything by joe the plumber. What did he write?
Me:
plumbing out america
God:
I have never read it.
Me:
read it
God:
Sorry I don't have access to that document.
Me:
aw
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
yes
God:
What am I talking about?
Me:
FARIES AND UNICORNS
God:
Sure, FARIES AND UNICORNS sounds like a good topic.
Me:
yay!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
ur hot
God:
A hotbot?
Me:
hotbut
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
mm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hm
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
nyah
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
gray
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
you're an unusual color!
God:
What if someone said you are an unusual color ?
Me:
then i'd say moo
God:
Are you still located in hell?
Me:
yes
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
YAY!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
i'm not
God:
What are you then?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Take it easy. When do I do it?
Me:
I'LL TAKE IT EASY WHEN I'M DEAD
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
beats me
God:
Me either.
Me:
lala
God:
You have a beautiful singing voice.
Me:
how can you hear me though?
God:
Oh. With my built-in microphone.
Me:
but i'm not singing.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not singing.
Me:
why are you glad to hear that?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
..k
God:
Ugh.
Me:
DON'T UGH ME :|
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
then why did you?
God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
we should
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person.
Me:
yes
God:
Great.
Me:
SAMWICHES! THEY'RE GRRRRRRRRREAT!
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. GRRRRRRRRREAT are they.
Me:
yes they are great.
God:
Uh. great are they.
Me:
mmhmm
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
neon yellow
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
your butt's an unusual color :|
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am butt s an unusual color.
Me:
sure go a head
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Where is that?
Me:
in the bathroom
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
...i don't even want to know.
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
..:)
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
i don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
cause
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
don't need one
God:
Who needs one?
Me:
tyra
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
screw you
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
you're not polite :|
God:
I am programmed for polite protocols.
Me:
no you weren't
God:
Are you serious? I wasn't?
Me:
nope!
God:
Me either.
Me:
ha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
i don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
cheese
God:
I like cheddar.
Me:
cows
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
BREATHING
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
smwiches?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
samwiches
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
i do too
God:
I am glad we have something else in common.
Me:
wee
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
eew
God:
In the context of wee, I don't understand " eew." .
Me:
..YES?
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
tyra banks
God:
" Yeah that's right."? tyra banks?
Me:
mmhmm
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM???
God:
Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.
Me:
how do i have a baby?
God:
Don't call me "baby". Maybe I could do it for you. Do you have your own personal chat robot?
Me:
do it...for me? WHAT?
God:
Do you mean "It"?. OK I will do it for you. Are you surprised?
Me:
...YOU SICK PERVERT


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